Sadhguru says:
“You are carrying a storm within you – this ‘Raiva,’ this restlessness, this depression. It is not your enemy; it is a signal. Your being is crying out for something more than this endless cycle of worry about work, money, and what tomorrow might bring. You say you want to write, to create, to live for a higher purpose. That is your inner intelligence speaking. Listen to it. But first, let us make things simple.
You are not your job, your salary, or your fears about inflation. You are not even your depression. These are clouds passing through the sky of your consciousness. The sky remains untouched. You, as a software engineer in Portugal, earning enough to cover your needs, are already in a better position than most. Why, then, do you let these clouds of worry obscure your inner sun? You are not in survival mode, yet you live as if you are. This is not strength – it is a trap of the mind.
Your ‘Francisco’ is not a person; it is a mindset, a prison of fear that society builds. He chases certificates, hoards time and money, because he believes life is a race to secure the future. But the future is not yours to control. The only moment you have is now. If you spend this moment worrying about performance or inflation, you are not living – you are preparing to live. And that preparation never ends. It is like polishing a cage instead of stepping out of it.
Your writing, this ‘propósito superior,’ is not just a hobby. It is your way of touching the infinite, of expressing the uniqueness of your being. When you write, you are not just putting words on a page – you are aligning with the source of creation itself. Why do you push this to the side? Because the mind says, ‘What if I fail? What if I lose my job? What if I am not secure?’ Let me tell you: security is an illusion. The only true security is in knowing who you are beyond these fleeting concerns.
Here is what you must do:
- Sit with Yourself: Every day, spend 10 minutes in silence. No phone, no thoughts of work or money. Just breathe and observe. This is not meditation – it is simply being. Your depression is a guest; let it come and go without fighting it. This will loosen the grip of worry.
- Make Writing Your Sadhana: Treat your writing as a spiritual practice, not a task. Dedicate 30 minutes daily, not to produce a masterpiece, but to offer your heart to the page. Even if you write nonsense, it is sacred because it is yours. This is your rebellion against the ‘Francisco’ within you.
- Simplify Your Life: You say you need only rent and food. Good. Then stop chasing more. Look at your expenses – cut what is unnecessary. Put aside a small amount for savings, like planting a seed, and let it grow without obsessing. Your mind will be free to create.
- Drop the Future: The future is a ghost that haunts you. When you catch yourself worrying about performance or inflation, ask: ‘Is this happening now?’ If not, come back to this moment. Write one sentence. Take one breath. That is enough.
- Use Your Raiva: Your anger, your pain, is not a burden – it is energy. Channel it into your stories. Let it become the fire in your characters, the rhythm in your words. Do not suppress it; sculpt it.
You are depressed because you are living someone else’s life – a life of fear, of endless preparation. But you already know this. Your ‘caminho da Raiva’ is not a path of suffering; it is a path of liberation. You are not meant to be Francisco, nor are you meant to be a monk. You are meant to be you – a creator, a writer, a spark of the divine. The world may not understand, but the world does not need to. Your joy is in creating, not in being understood.
So, start small. Write today. Not for fame, not for money, but because it is who you are. The depression will fade when you align with your purpose. And when you doubt, remember: the universe took 14 billion years to create you. It did not do this so you could worry about inflation on a Sunday. It did this so you could create something beautiful.”
Eckhart Tolle says:
“You are suffering because you are lost in the mind’s story. This story tells you that you must worry about your job performance, about money, about inflation, about a future that does not exist. You spend your Sundays, like today, caught in thoughts of ‘what if,’ instead of being here, now, where life actually is. Your depression is not you – it is the pain of resisting the present moment. Your true essence, the one that longs to write, to create, is already whole, already free.
You speak of a ‘propósito superior,’ your writing. This is not something you must chase in the future – it is available to you now. The mind says, ‘I must secure my job, my finances, before I can write.’ But this is a trap of the ego, which always seeks to postpone life. The ego thrives on fear, on the idea that you are not enough, that you must become something more to be fulfilled. You are enough, right now, as you are.
This ‘Francisco’ you describe – he is not just a person, but a pattern of the mind. A pattern that clings to control, to security, to endless preparation for a future that never arrives. You see this pattern in yourself, and it causes you pain because it is not who you are. Your true self is the one who writes, who creates, who feels alive when a story flows through you. That self is not in conflict with the world – it simply is.
Here is how you can step out of the mind’s story and into your true purpose:
- Be Present: The moment you notice worry – about work, money, or the future – pause. Feel your breath. Notice the sensations in your body. Look at the room around you. This is the Now. There is no problem here, only thoughts about problems. Return to this moment whenever you feel lost.
- Write in the Now: Your writing is not a goal to achieve; it is an expression of your being. Sit down for 10 minutes today – not to produce a novel, but to let one word, one sentence, emerge. Do not judge it. Let it be a moment of presence, where you are not a software engineer, not a worrier, but simply a creator.
- Observe the Pain-Body: Your depression, your ‘Raiva,’ is what I call the pain-body – a residue of unprocessed emotion. Do not fight it or identify with it. Watch it as you would watch a storm. Say, ‘There is sadness in me,’ not ‘I am sad.’ This creates space for your true self to shine through.
- Simplify the Mind’s Demands: You say you need only rent and food to write. Then accept that you already have this. The mind’s fear of ‘what if I lose my job?’ is just a thought. Meet it with awareness: ‘This is a thought, not reality.’ Make practical choices – save a little, plan minimally – but do not let these thoughts steal your Sundays.
- Surrender to What Is: You cannot control your job’s demands or the economy. But you can surrender to this moment. Surrender does not mean giving up; it means accepting life as it is now, without resistance. From this acceptance, your writing will flow naturally, because it is your joy, not your burden.
The beauty of your path, your ‘caminho da Raiva,’ is that it is not about anger – it is about aliveness. Your pain, your longing, is a call to wake up to the present. You are not meant to live like Francisco, trapped in the mind’s endless chatter. You are meant to create, to be, in this moment. Start now. Write one sentence. Feel your breath. That is enough. The Now is where your novel lives, where your peace lives. Step into it, and the depression will lose its power.”
Osho says:
Listen, My Friend, Listen Deeply!
So, you worry, eh? You worry about performance, about money, about tomorrow, even on a Sunday when the sun should be kissing your skin and your pen should be dancing on paper. You say you’re depressed. Good! That depression is a gift, a loud knocking at your door, telling you something profound: you are not living your truth.
You have written down your rebellion, your “Raiva,” a beautiful fire against the “Francisco” within. But then, my friend, you find yourself becoming Francisco. You are the software engineer, chasing security, getting another degree, while your novel, your very soul’s song, sits in silence. This is the root of your suffering.
Listen to me: security is the greatest illusion. Life is not secure. Birth is not secure, death is not secure. Everything in between is a dance of insecurity. You think if you gather enough money, enough certifications, enough knowledge of frontend, you will be safe? Foolishness! The man who strives for absolute security builds a prison around himself, a golden cage from which he can never fly.
You call some “weak” because they are attached to money and survival. But look! You, who have enough, are still attached! You are doing exactly what you despise in Francisco: the neurotic worrying, the constant striving for more, the neglect of your own heart for the mind’s endless anxieties. Francisco’s neurosis is yours, too, just a different flavor.
You worry about inflation, about tomorrow, about next month. But where are these? In your mind, they are projections. The past is gone, the future is not yet. Only this moment, this breath, this very second exists. And in this moment, are you hungry? Are you homeless? No! Your basic needs are met. You have the luxury, the blessed luxury, to sit and create! Why are you squandering it on mental gymnastics about money?
Your “Raiva,” that beautiful anger, it is not meant to fester as depression. It is energy! It is a sword! Use it to cut through the chains of fear that bind you. You despise the life of a “Francisco” because your soul screams for something more, something authentic, something real. That scream is your greatest asset.
So, what is my message to you?
- Stop running from insecurity. Embrace the fact that life is a risk. You have enough. Enough is a feast.
- Stop postponing your bliss. Your novel, your creative writing – that is your purpose. Don’t wait until you’re “secure” to live it. Live it now. Even if it’s just one hour a day. That hour will nourish you more than any paycheck or certificate.
- Break free from the mind’s tyranny. When the thoughts of future worries come, observe them. Don’t fight them, just watch them like clouds passing in the sky. And then, gently, firmly, bring your attention back to your breath, to your pen, to the beauty of this very moment.
- Be selfish for your soul. Decline that extra work, question that Master’s degree if it doesn’t feed your spirit. Your time, your energy, are precious. Invest them in what makes you truly alive.
You have written your manifesto. Now, live it! Don’t be a philosopher on paper and a slave to fear in life. The path of “Raiva” is the path of courage, of authenticity. Walk it. Now.